#and it doesn’t make up for it in any humor or levity or. interesting writing.

[wekillitwithfire]

something so off putting about having a book you despise that you genuinely think was not written well or was just. plain bad. and then going onto goodreads and seeing it has like a 4.5 star rating

[serengeral-alaan]

Teebz’s (mostly) spoiler free impressions on Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

Overall: a very fun movie! It's not exactly life changing or going to go down as one of the best movies of all time, but it didn't set out to. It's a movie about a fun fantasy adventure with simple, easy-to-digest characters, excellent action scenes, and (mostly) funny writing. I was highly entertained for the 2ish hours the movie ran.

Visually, I think this was a great portrayal of a fantasy setting in cinematic form for the most part. Other movies have tried and failed to make fantasy magic spells (especially ones requiring hand gestures and chanting) look good in film and not cringe, but here they definitely sold the image of movie wizardry for me. The fantasy architecture in particular--the forest village, the northern prison, the Underdark constructions, the city of Neverwinter and its grand arena--were awe-striking. Costuming was pretty great as well--you could tell the costume designers studied a lot of D&D materials for ideas on how to communicate character roles and personalities through their clothing. Thank goodness the entire movie isn't filled with drab grays and browns.

...except the Halflings. Halflings in this movie look *off*. You can tell they just greenscreened a regular irl human and stuck them into the scene. They don't visually fit into the background at all. A lot of the very visually non-humanoid races, like Aarakocras and Dragonborns, also could look better, since they come across like someone wearing an awkward rubber suit than an organic bird/dragon being.

Big kudos to the action choreographers. This movie had some GREAT action scenes. The fight scenes were easy to follow and exciting, going through the proverbial dungeon and traversing the myriad obstacles was fun, and this movie has what might be one of my favorite chase scenes in cinema.

The writing was overall good. The characters were...serviceable. They were nothing terribly interesting, you won't walk out of the theater having experienced a deep character study; the good guys are good, the roguish rogue is roguish, the evil bad guys twirl their moustache while they go on about their evil plans, but they worked for the purposes of the movie. Honor Among Thieves clearly set out to be a fun, presumably one-shot fantasy adventure about going through dungeons and fighting dragons, and the characters' personalities, motivations, and backstories are clear and sufficient to drive the plot. That said, Doric the Druid felt like a third wheel in the story, since she doesn't really have any chemistry with the other three main adventurers, and the movie doesn't make her stake in the plot feel as emotionally impactful as it is for the others.

The overall plot was fine, nothing particularly revolutionary. It might feel a little all over the place due to the Macguffin-chasing nature of its premise, but it felt ultimately driven by its characters without anything too confusing or shoehorned in.

There's a lot of MCU-style quipping in this movie, but unlike the weaker offerings in the MCU lineup, most of the humor in this movie works. The characters do sometimes quip in the middle of action scenes, but for the most part such quipping *adds* to the levity of the fight than subtracting from the tension. When our heroes are beating up generic guards by the dozens, they poke fun at things because *of course* a bunch of no name guards aren't going to stop our heroes; but when shit gets real and the fights get serious, people shut up and fight. The quipping doesn't land *all* the time, but they land *most* of the time and don't really undermine the movie.

A sidenote on how good of a *Dungeons and Dragons* movie this Dungeons and Dragon movie was: you can quibble about small details, and you can justifiably complain that this is yet another piece of D&D media set in the Sword Coast, but it's clear that the filmmakers did their D&D homework. The characters' backstories sound like something a player in a D&D game might come up with, the villains are classic Faerun villains, and much of the movie's logic works on D&D logic (like stopping a spellcaster from casting a spell by muffling their mouth). Moreover, while the movie does poke fun at a couple of D&Disms, overall it does not come across like it's ashamed of its source material. It doesn't make fun of spellcasters for having to chant and wave their hands around to do magic. It doesn't try and argue that the existence of an Owlbear is dumb and absurd. The movie felt like it was made by people who like D&D, for people who like D&D.

That said, I saw the movie with a friend of mine who knows zilch about D&D. He found the movie to be very entertaining as well, but had a hard time understanding the minutiae of what happened. So emotionally the movie worked for him and the movie does its best to explain D&Disms the best it can, but if you're unfamiliar with D&D, a lot of things in this movie might make you scratch your head a bit.

One last note, and something a lot more spoilery than the above: the thing that stuck with me most about this movie is how it portrayed a straight-laced Lawful Good Paladin. We've had what feels like decades of Hollywood trying to tell us that being good, noble, and upright is for naïve losers, that being cynical and quick with a sarcastic jab is the truest sign of intelligence and wisdom. This movie doesn't do that. You meet a Paladin who is good, kind, honest, and polite, and while the movie pokes fun at some of his mannerisms (like his utter refusal to deal with sarcasm and metaphor), the movie never thinks he's lame. The Paladin we see is *cool*. Our quippy, cynical main character tries really hard to undermine the Paladin but *fails*. The Paladin sets out to do what he wishes to do, succeeds with flying colors, and the movie never once tries to portray him as a loser or a dweeb. It's a very refreshing take on Paladins specifically and Hollywood writing in general.

[terreisa]

I would like to take a moment to talk about Andor.

First, let me preface this by saying that while I’m a fan of Star Wars I’m definitely not an uber fan. I haven’t watched any of the animated shows, I haven’t read the books or the comics. I’ve pretty much just kept it to the Skywalker Saga films (plus Solo and Rogue One) and the live-action Disney+ series that have been released. Second, there are much better analyses and deep dives on the themes of the show out there and this is definitely not that. This is just me putting my thoughts out into the ether because my usual cadre of nerds either aren’t watching it or are several episodes behind which is annoying when it’s all I want to talk about.

Okay, here we go:

I think Andor is the best piece of Star Wars media that’s been released in recent years.

Don’t get me wrong, I love The Mandalorian. Go through my archives and there’s no doubt about that.  It’s a great story that’s full of drama and humor and deep emotion but it hinges on a pretty big conceit. Without Grogu there is no show or at least not one that has pulled in as many viewers as it has. There’s also the fact that it still tentatively ties itself to the Skywalker Saga, which is a thing for someone else to unpack. Same with Book of Boba Fett and Obi-Wan Kenobi, they had a built in hook to grab those viewers, though with varying degrees of success.

Andor doesn’t have that. It’s main character is a man that clearly operated in a morally grey area whose fate had already been shown to audiences six years ago. I was excited to watch the show mostly because Rogue One is my favorite Star Wars movie and I loved how Diego Luna played Cassian. That we were getting his backstory was interesting but as with the other shows I was going to watch it regardless because it was expanding the universe, which always interests me.

But dear god, what we got and are getting is so much more. The themes of morality and the cost of rebellion along commentaries on the state and actions of humanity and the tightening fist of fascism woven into the plot elevate the show to a whole different level. Not to mention that it expands the universe on so many different facets it almost boggles the mind how rich and complex this one show is making the galaxy that’s far far away.

Saying that, let me share why I decided to write this:

I work at a grocery store and the other day I was ringing up a woman's groceries and my Star Wars super fan co-worker was bagging for me. She had a Mandalorian bag and we asked if she enjoyed the show, which she did, and if she was watching Andor, which she was. She then proceeded to say that Book of Boba Fett was her favorite of the shows because it was fun and funny and Andor was boring and had no story. My co-worker and I were flabbergasted, and he'd only watched the first four eps of Andor at that point. When I told my sister the story later she said that maybe the woman only liked positive stories, ones that made her feel good and didn't dig too much into deeper themes.

That, I realized, was exactly what sets Andor apart and raises it above the other series and films that I'd seen. There are no dazzling, elegant lightsaber fights, the fights are chaotic and exact a heavy toll. There's no jokey levity from droids or side characters. The show is unflinchingly bleak and any victory, small or large, is tempered by the harsh reality of swift retaliation from the Empire. An entity that has always been known to be evil but through the lack of empathy, expanding overreach and harsher punishments, and the continual implied violence against innocents showcased in the series shows the depths of their atrocities in a way that can't be ignored or shoved aside. Even the barest thread of hope is hard to come by but it's there even in the smallest act of rebellion.

The biggest thing that sets Andor apart is that we know exactly how it ends. This story doesn't have a traditional happy ending. Cassian's fate is sealed, we are merely watching as he walks the path towards his inevitable death. And somehow it doesn't detract from the series at all, it makes his struggles much more compelling and tragic.

All this and I haven't even touched on the brilliance of Luthen and Mon Mothma's own underground moves against the Empire.

This show goes beyond every expectation I had for it and elevated it into a completely different stratosphere for the Star Wars universe. After I finish each new episode I'm practically vibrating with amazement at how each one is better than the last.

Andor is a feat of storytelling that I will shout about from rooftops whether people are listening or not for a long time coming.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I love reading through the Twilight meta on this blog. It's amazing!

I'm not sure if you've already written about this before, but I was wondering if you could give your thoughts on how Edward feels about Jasper (and the other Cullens if you want to write that), and how that differs from what Meyer wanted readers to see?

Don't worry if it takes you a while to respond, I know you must get a lot of asks.

I actually have not.

And oh boy, let’s go there, shall we.

I’ll just say up front that Meyer obviously intends none of this. In her eyes, Edward is not only a gentleman but the best and brightest of the Cullens. What difficulties he has with family members is mostly on them (i.e. Jasper and Rosalie) and he’s certainly not contemptuous of anyone.

Alice

Alice is the one Edward is closest to by far and I’d say the one he comes closest to actually liking (we’ll get into this). He feels a strong sense of kinship with Alice, sees her as the resident fellow Cullen freak and supernatural protector of the family. Alice scans the futures for their protection and Edward... hears people thinking about cats miles away.

Clearly, Edward is just as important as Alice.

Regardless, if Edward has friends in this world then that friend is Alice. He trusts her implicitly with his secrets and, in general, values her opinion. Of course, when she doesn’t fall in line with what he wants (i.e. keeping Bella human) he rebels, rebels, and rebels and will very much go against her wishes.

It’s Edward’s way or the highway.

Despite this she is a trusted ally and confidante for him.

Carlisle

Edward is... weird about Carlisle. I’d say, to him, Carlisle is far more of an ideal than an actual person. Carlisle is what Edward aspires to be, the perfect man, and one he’s terrified of disappointing. Edward has very little in the form of a conscience, what usually stops him from committing any horrific act on any given day (murdering the Biology classroom, sneaking into Bella’s bedroom to devour her, murdering Saint Marcus’ Square in Volterra, murdering the entire Quileute Tribe for Jacob Black blabbering to Bella Swan) is the question “what would Carlisle think?”

Deep down, Edward knows there’s something wrong with him, and he is desperate Carlisle, above all others, never see it.

Carlisle also stands in as a replacement father for Edward, though this is really mostly on Edward. He generally doesn’t go to Carlisle for advice or guidance, only when it suits his interests to do so, and instead gleefully basks in Carlisle and Esme as his Stepford parents.

Beyond this, there is a part of Edward that thinks Carlisle is a naive fool in need of his protection. Carlisle likes to celebrate Christmas, Edward is beyond such petty things and humors him. Edward is a protector of the family, Carlisle is a hopeless pacifist who could never fight a day in his life.

Edward both thinks himself above Carlisle Cullen and hopelessly unworthy of him in the same moment. If you asked him though, Edward would say that Carlisle Cullen is a father to him.

Emmett

Emmett is a loveable fool to Edward. No one to take seriously, but Edward appreciates that he lightens the mood. Though he has no comprehension of why Emmett would choose to be with Rosalie of all people and is very contemptuous not only of their relationship in general but the fact that they actually have sex.

(Edward is very approving of Carlisle and Esme’s relationship, in which it’s strongly implied no sex ever happens. Edward, naturally, doesn’t realize most of the relationships in his family are on the verge of collapse).

Regardless, Emmett’s just one of those easy going people that everyone likes, including Edward. Emmett’s a bit crass and dude bro for Edward, Edward will only agree to wrestle once in a blue moon if ever, but he appreciates the levity the guy brings to the house.

Esme

If Edward is Son to Esme then Esme is Mother to Edward. They’re the perfect pair. Edward appreciates, Esme’s maternal softness, her mother ideal, which is what had him shipping her desperately with Carlisle in the first place. Esme will come and comfort him in times of trial and can be counted on to unconditionally support him and the family (but mostly him). 

Edward adores Esme for that and sees her as the emotional heart of the Cullens (though notably he acknowledges that Carlisle is the one with actual morals, but nevermind that).

Jasper

Edward is extremely contemptuous of Jasper. Extremely. He opens Midnight Sun musing that there’s no point in Jasper even trying to resist blood because he’s such a failure.

To him, Jasper is a waste of space, someone who has no business being a member of the Cullens except as an extension to Alice staying. He appreciates Jasper and Alice’s completely dysfunctional relationship but mostly for what it means for Alice.

Jasper came from a background Edward doesn’t like, struggles with thirst which Edward doesn’t like, and is also far more intimidating than Edward which Edward doesn’t like. Edward has a clear complex about his physical prowess, Jasper aggravates that as this makes him and Emmett the de facto fighters of the Cullens. 

After New Moon, and Jasper nearly ruined everything by eating Bella, his contempt becomes near loathing I imagine. 

Rosalie

The only person in the family that Edward is more contemptuous of than Jasper is Rosalie. Edward loathes Rosalie.

She ruined the nuclear family dynamic he had going on with Carlisle and Esme, he’s horrified and upset that Carlisle would go and turn that shallow bitch Rosalie of all people, never mind her horrific gang rape. Edward, is, in fact, so upset that he clings to this fantasy that Carlisle only turned her to be his bride (yes, this is worthy of a post, but given Edward in every other situation I think it’s highly likely Carlisle had a stray “wouldn’t it be nice” thought one time and Edward jumped on it. Finally, a sane explanation of why Carlisle would ever turn stupid Rosalie)

To him, Rosalie will always be a vapid, self-centered, vain, shrew who is unworthy of him and the family in general. He resents though grudgingly acknowledges her incredible will power, that she has a better record than him and carried a bleeding Emmett miles down a mountain at such a young age.

Even this, he will only acknowledge as “pigheadedness”.

I imagine, by the end of the series, he loathes her even more. He blames her for the Volterra incident, never mind that she was the only one willing to tell him Alice’s message and that the fault’s more on Alice for saying the vision was a certainty before checking. She also protects Bella when she’s pregnant, which yes he ultimately comes around to Renesmee, but she stood in his way and I don’t imagine he’ll forget that any time soon.

Some part of Edward is always ready to lay into Rosalie. When they’re discussing the van, Edward can’t wait to bring up that one time Rosalie murdered her rapists. It’s barely in context and mostly comes across as a desperate attempt to seize the opportunity to point out her heinous flaws.

[spectrumed]

7. identity

The aesthetic of suffering, the allure of victimhood, it’s important to acknowledge that to many people, the idea of struggling with mental illness is hot. A common trope in teen dramas is the existence of the sexy bad boy haunted by demons of depression or addiction or some other psychological malady. Women with mental illness tend to be sexualised, less, but then again, women are most typically always sexualised, no matter the state of their mental health. But it’s not just a case of some people finding mental illness to be attractive in others, many see mental illness in themselves as something to take pride in, to celebrate and nurture. To seek out a diagnosis, to infiltrate communities that exist to provide support to those in need, and to declare themselves as being special. Fakers, you could call them. Yes, we’re going to be entering into dangerous grounds here, talking about a potentially incendiary topic that might feed the flames of controversy, but it’s a topic worth discussing. Self-diagnosis. Is self-diagnosis valid or not? Should one self-diagnose? Is it ableism to be against self-diagnosis? Is it ableism to be for self-diagnosis? Is it ableism itself ableist? I don’t know, sweetheart, you are asking a whole bunch of questions and I am hungover… But let’s go on rambling about what it means to be labelled neurodivergent.

Do you have an identity? Do you root for a particular sports team? Do you like a particular kind of music? Do you dance a lot? Are you a dancer? What are you? Simply stating that you’re just “a human” probably won’t do. Sure, it’s correct, but I am also a human, and we could be two very different kinds of people. Your identity should be that certain something that makes you stand apart from the rest, that distinguishes you from the squirming mass of flesh that is the whole of humanity. There are plenty of things about you that do figure in your identity, even though you wish it didn’t. You’re black, you don’t wish to always be “that black guy over there,” but you’ve come to realise that’s just how society views you. Maybe you are a transwoman, and you very eagerly want your friend to stop introducing you as her “trans bestie.” You’re just a woman, you don’t need her to keep labelling you as trans, even though that's what you are. There are many ways we can change our identity through direct personal action. Maybe you could start wearing a hat, and be known as “that hat guy” to the people you work with. Maybe you could embrace a punk aesthetic, looking like young Johnny Rotten stepped into a time machine and got transported to the current day. Actions like these can have a big or small impact on how others see you, but it feels good to be able to make a decision like that and get a response. This is me, this is what I am. I’m the guy who wears bow-ties, don’t I look cool? If only shaping your sense of self always came down to personal decisions like that. You don’t always have a choice.

I’ve lately been watching some Conan O’Brien (American TV talk show host who’s recently decided not to be a TV talk show host) clips. I am sure I don’t need to explain who Conan O’Brien is to my readers, but just in case this is being read by aliens ten-thousand years from now, what I can tell you is that Conan O’Brien is well known for being freakishly tall. Like, really tall. He’s an elongated leprechaun. He’s turned being tall into one of his trademarks. Like many comedians, he’s come to use his corporeal form as a source for levity and fun. While, naturally, the man did not choose to grow as tall as he did, he’s come around to use his height not as a hindrance to success, but rather as an asset. He’s “that tall irish guy on the TV,” and he’s been that person for nearly thirty years. It pays to have some distinguishing feature if you wish to be distinguished. Mr. Joe Average might be perfectly funny and charming, but being an average-looking guy can be wholly detrimental in making a career for yourself as a funnyman. At least get yourself some weird voice, or something. Maybe pretend to be some foreigner and put on a fake accent. As a comedian your job is to be exploited, you wish to be made into a commodity to be sold. People will want to watch your special because of that funny face you pull in the thumbnail. To be different can be financially lucrative.

What’s the best approach in turning something that could be perceived as an abnormal feature into something that is beneficial to you? To make jokes about it? Certainly, if I were to meet a man with a heavily scarred face, I feel there’d likely be a tension between me and him that could be dispelled if that man with the heavily scarred face made some little joke about his appearance, some little quip. “I’m sorry, I cut myself shaving this morning,” would do. The person isn’t obliged to justify his existence to me, he does not have to go out of his way to make me feel less uncomfortable. I am the one in the wrong, certainly. I shouldn’t look at a person with a heavily scarred face and feel uncomfortable, that’s me letting prejudices get in the way, I know that. But, it is what it is. If you’re looking for a practical solution, telling people to simply get over themselves and learn to not be so awkward around folks with physical deformities won’t do. It may be the right thing, but it’s not going to happen any time soon. I am sure that the man with the heavily scarred face isn’t interested in being defined by his heavily scarred face. He's probably sick and tired of that little joke, and wish he didn’t have to make it. But it does the job. Suddenly, you are not looking at something to be feared, the other, you are looking at a person, and someone with a sense of humour. The importance of humour in eradicating stigma, making it possible for the ostracised to enter in society, cannot be understated. Through humour, you can convince most everyone that you are someone worthy of inclusion, because… well, you’re just a funny guy, who doesn’t wanna hang out with you?

For those who have grown up not feeling normal, worrying that there are aspects of your character that others may perceive as unwanted, the yearning to be liked can at times become excruciating. I like to consider myself a funny person, while this blog isn’t intended to be a humorous one, occasionally small little jokes will squirm their way to the top, like worms coming up to the surface during a rainstorm. I am also a cartoonist, and produce a new cartoon every other day. My humour isn’t universal, no good humour ever is universal, but it’s done good in getting some folks to like me. Some people want to be admired, some people want to be feared. I only want to be liked. The one thing I absolutely do not want to be is pitied. I don’t want your pity, I fear your pity.

You’re probably familiar with The Sims, right? It’s a life simulation game, where you control a little digital human, known as a sim, and try to help them make the right decision through life. Each sim has a number of meters that measures their current needs. Hunger, hygiene, energy, if they need to urinate or defecate (though, frankly, the distinction between the two isn’t made in the game, so one can assume that sims are like birds and have just one cloaca that does both,) and so on. One of these meters is for social activities. If a sim hasn’t been social in a while, they go nutty. What’s interesting here, the reason why I bring it up, is that in real life, though we all (to a lesser or greater degree) crave to socialise with others, what kind of socialising you do is of a very big importance. There are a myriad of ways in which one can be social, and depending on your needs at the time, one kind of socialising may not do, whereas another kind of socialising may be just what you need. Do you want to hang out with your pals, cracking jokes and maybe drinking a couple of beers? Do you want to have a serious conversation with your partner about what you wish to accomplish together? Do you want to play with your dog? These different social situations scratch different parts of your mind, and you can’t just substitute one for the other and think that’s all alright. A person may have tonnes of friends, lots of buddies to spend their time with, but they may still desperately be yearning for another kind of social interaction, one that none of their friends can deliver. The human need for company is more complex than how it is depicted in The Sims… which, to be fair, probably shocks nobody. The Sims doesn’t pretend that it’s some highly realistic simulation of real life, it’s a game meant to be played for fun. But what’s important here is the fact that while humans do have a need to be social, how that need is fed changes dramatically on the person, and their conditions. Socialising that may bring comfort to one person, may bring discomfort to another person.

I don’t want you to pity me. I may list my diagnoses, I may tell you of the difficulties that I face in life, but I do not want you to feel sorry for me. I want you to be entertained reading this, I don’t want to make you weep thinking about how cruel life can be. I don’t want you thinking I’m special, or different, because of my diagnoses. I want you to think I’m special and different because of my writing. Sure, this blog is about living with autism spectrum disorder, but I don’t want you reading this blog just because it’s about autism spectrum disorder. I want you to read this because, while it is about a diagnosis you are interested in learning more about, you also find what I write to be well-written and at times, mildly humorous. This blog isn’t my rabid manifesto detailing all the ways my life sucks, and what must be done by society to appease me. Nah, I’m doing relatively fine, don’t feel bad for me, please. I don’t want that kind of attention. I do want attention, I won’t lie and tell you that I don’t have an ego, or that I don’t get pleased seeing people like the things I put out there. I do have a social need, it’s just that being pitied does not do it for me. It doesn’t make me feel good. It makes me feel bad. It makes me feel sad. It really makes me feel mad.

We’re finally getting around to the topic I promised I would discuss. Self-diagnosis. A principal concern people have with self-diagnosis is that people only self-diagnose in order to receive pity from others. The difference between someone like me, who’s got a proper official diagnosis, and someone who is self-diagnosed, is that I don’t want your pity. I don’t want you to fetishise my diagnosis, this thing about me that I did not choose to be. I don’t want special favours just because of my diagnosis, I don’t want to be known as “that cartoonist with autism.” I am autistic, I’ve come to accept that, but I don’t want anyone to introduce me as “their friend who’s on the spectrum.” Some may accuse me of self-loathing, treating being autistic like some bad thing that I am ashamed of. But that’s not it. After all, I did start this blog to discuss what it is like. I just don’t want to be defined by this certain something that lies outside of my control. I don’t want it to be my “thing.” I don’t mind being referred to as a hairy cartoonist, because I am pretty hairy. I don’t want to cut my hair any time soon (especially with this plague going around.) No-one would pity me just because I am hairy. At most they may regard me as a good-for-nothing beatnik, and I’m okay with that. Ideally, I still want to be liked, but anything is better than being pitied. To be pitied is to be robbed of your own agency, your own potential. Sure, it gets you that attention you may be craving, but at the cost of infantilization. Autistic people often struggle with being infantilized by society, to the point where some folks don’t even realise that there are autistic grown-ups in the world. Anyone who would voluntarily seek out a diagnosis just to be pitied, well… it doesn’t sit right with me. It makes me, quite frankly, feel demoralised.

But not all people self-diagnose just to get pity from others, right? For some it’s genuinely their only option, likely living in a barely-functioning country like the United States where receiving psychiatric care is expensive and it’s just not something they can afford. It’s unfair of me to phrase self-diagnosing as just a quest to receive pity, it’s way more complicated than that. And yes, I’d have to agree. To know all the reasons why a person may self-diagnose, you have to go personally ask them. Even if it is possible to highlight a few certain trends, things that they all have in common, it’s bound to be impossible to make this one sweeping generalisation to explain everything. All I am saying is that there absolutely are those people who do self-diagnose with the explicit goal of getting pitied. Whether they are knowingly faking their condition or not, to them, being pigeonholed as a person with autism isn’t at all a negative. It’s their identity. It is how they have chosen to let the world see them. They made a choice. They chose this label. This is why many people who have official diagnoses are sceptical of those who've only got a self-diagnosis. Whether your self-diagnosis is accurate or not, in the end, you chose to identify yourself with it. You made a decision, oblivious of the fact that many people don’t get to make that kind of a decision, and they may bear resentment for how you are turning something they’ve faced ostracization for, into what is potentially on the same level as listening to a certain kind of music, or being a supporter of a sports team. A diagnosis is not something you should choose to have.

There are other things to say about self-diagnosis. First of all, it can be dangerous. Some of the diagnoses I’ve seen people give themselves are really serious, things like personality disorders or psychosis. Psychiatrists are very careful when putting these kinds of labels on people, knowing the harm that it can do. A diagnosis is meant to only be given after careful deliberation, and after long conversations with the patient. Psychiatrists know that reducing a person to a set of symptoms can have detrimental effects to that person’s sense of self. If you’re trying to cling on to a diagnosis, seeing it as a major part of your identity, then that may hamper any attempts you make to become a better person, to improve your mental health. You will feel as if you need to correspond to the exact specifications of the disorder, and you will not allow yourself to grow naturally as a complicated human being, a human being whose internal life is far too vast to be fully rounded up with some psychiatric jargon. There are plenty of things about me that do not line up with the diagnostic criteria for autism spectrum disorder, and guess what, that’s quite good actually. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have autism, I very much do, but I realise that as a person, I am more than just my diagnosis. The diagnosis does not define me, I define the diagnosis. If you self-diagnose, do you comprehend all that you are getting yourself into? Are you going to find yourself in psychological traps that will only serve to worsen your mental health? It’s hard to look at yourself objectively, you could easily be misrepresenting yourself inside your own mind. You may effectively be locking parts of yourself away, making it so you are no longer able to see the full you. You will no longer be all there, you will be segmented in favour of upholding the defining marks of a diagnosis that doesn’t suit you.

Instead of self-diagnosing, try doing a self-assessment. Keep in mind that, while you may have this diagnosis, it’s too early to say for sure. You’re going to need somebody else’s input. You’ll need to sit with it for a while to see if it sticks. Keep an open mind, realise that there’s no easy way to explain exactly who you are, or what you are like. It’s very possible that you will come to realise that you are in fact autistic, or have whatever other diagnosis you may suspect describes you. I, after all, came to the conclusion that I was autistic before I got the diagnosis (though, I was going to therapy at that point, and I was on the way to undergo a neuropsychiatric evaluation.) It’s not bad to try and get to understand yourself, don’t come out of this thinking that self-reflection is only possible with a psychiatrist looming over you, telling you how to think about things. We all need to come to certain conclusions over how we self-identify, and sometimes you need to take mental leaps to explain certain things. Just don’t feel as if your best option is to put a label on yourself that can potentially negatively affect your psychological well-being. If you are truly searching for understanding, if your goal is to find out more about yourself, you should act with caution and concern for what you are doing. If all you are looking for is to have people pity you, then… well… I don’t know what to say, really…

[habitmorelikefuckyou]

EverymanHYBRID - Pacing, Character-Driven Plots, and Comic Relief

Everyone shut the FUCK up I’m shifting into hyperfocus mode

In all seriousness, EverymanHYBRID is one of my favorite series period, and I have SO much to say about its writing and production. It’s, in my Personal Opinion, probably the best-written of the main Slenderverse ARG (Though I’m willing to admit that this is probably influenced by personal bias and you’re absolutely allowed to disagree). And I just want to go in-depth with some of my favorite elements!

(obvious spoilers for EverymanHYBRID if you haven’t seen it)

I think HABIT, and the way his character is written and used, is probably the best place to start.

HABIT, in my opinion, is an EXTREMELY interesting villain- right down to the concept. HABIT is literally the personification of the darkest, most horrible things people are capable of. He is a literal embodiment of humanity’s sins. That is quite possibly one of the scariest and most cosmically threatening concepts they could have chosen. And what’s even more interesting is the way they then approached that concept-

They made him fun.

That’s something I see everyone who watches EMH hook onto. The villain, the main antagonist, the horrible old-as-time pure evil mastermind, is a fun character! He’s witty, he’s funny, he’s rude in that flippant, crude, lighthearted way we’ve come to associate with characters like Deadpool. He doesn’t act with any sort of discernible logic or pretense. And that’s the point.

Let’s skip ahead to the last stretch of the series for a moment. After “:D”, pretty much the rest of the videos consist entirely of Vinny and Habit alone, with occasional appearances from a very traumatized Evan. That’s 25 videos- about a full fourth of the story. The final 1/4 of EMH is almost entirely Vinny and HABIT. Now, why is this important? Well, look back to the beginning. If you look at this entire series with an analytical perspective, you realize that among some other themes, one aspect of the series never leaves entirely- its humor. 

No matter what arc or event the story touches on, there’s always some form of comic relief. It wasn’t always doom and gloom. One of EMH’s trademarks, in my opinion, is how they constructed the plot to move consistently between those two tones, and even mix them.

How does this relate to HABIT? Think about that thing I said- for the last fourth of EMH, the only characters we get to see for the most part are Vinny and HABIT. Vinny, at this point, is a very changed man. He’s not the same college guy making videos with his friends that he was in video one- he’s worn out, scared, broken. Before this, all of the humor or heart the story had come from the guys’ interactions, but Vinny is alone and empty now- he can’t provide that without breaking character.

And THAT is why HABIT being a fun, flippant character is so important. He not only gets to have that creepy, unhinged vibe- it’s a utility. It’s a way to incorporate that element back into the story in a way that still upholds the plot. They made the villain funny because only a villain could possibly be funny in that kind of situation.

Like I said earlier, the story wasn’t always oppressive and scary and sad. It broke up its tragedy with humor or love. That wasn’t just a style choice; it was necessary to tell the story the EMH crew wanted to tell. That’s the thing that some people don’t seem to get- you can’t have a story be nothing but sad, upsetting things piled on top of each other with nothing in between. It’s not the low point that you feel, but the drop from a high point to get there. You need highs if you want your audience to care about the lows, so you need some element of levity to a dark story if you want people to care when it gets dark again. That’s what makes HABIT so cleverly written. He manages to do that without moving an inch outside of the character we’d expect. 

That point also serves as a good segway to something else I want to talk about- Pacing.

EverymanHYBRID, in comparison to most other ARGs, is a slow-paced story. Yes, the conflict begins about six videos in, but if you think about it, that was barely the start. We don’t even get a direct hint to HABIT’s presence until 20 videos in. There’s also the livestreams they did, and all those normal videos were included for a reason- to let us get attached. The thing about EMH is that it was a HEAVILY character-focused narrative. That means that taking your time to get the audience attached to your characters is crucial.

Because of the long-form medium chosen to tell the story, the guys had to establish a foundation that would last. In a particularly short piece of media, like a small book or a movie, a few (WELL WRITTEN) scenes can give you all the character-building you need, because those scenes will still be fresh in the audience’s mind at the climax. But in a longer story, like EMH, you can’t do that- you need to take a while to establish those characters as people, because the audience needs time to build that association. Your audience isn’t going to be thinking about that one time that character had that one conversation in video ten by the time they’re getting murdered in video sixty. There needs to be a substantial connection between character and audience if that sad stuff is supposed to have any impact.

And EverymanHYBRID does that- and then they do more. They don’t just take it slow in the beginning. They set up that foundation, and then they keep building onto it. 

During my second rewatch when I was paying much more attention to the actual writing of the series, one thing I noticed is that after every arc- every major event or tragedy- the story hits the breaks a little. We get a step back, we get a breather, and once again it’s just us and the characters with the threat pushed to the backburner. We not only got to see the characters as people in the first act; we got to see them at every step of the story. 

We get to watch in detail how Jeff unravels from the sweet, helpful, kinda goofy guy he was in the first episode to the depressed, hopeless shell he’s become by the time he dies. We get to see every stage of Evan’s devolving mental state from the funny, hot-headed sidekick to the suicidal, broken mess HABIT makes him. Vinny’s journey from the soft-spoken, friendly leader he was at the start to the hollow murderer he is by the end is long and arduous, and we get to see every checkpoint of that transformation. They don’t just break these characters. They make sure that we get to watch them break- because that’s the point.

That’s what makes EverymanHYBRID a character-driven story. The essence of the story isn’t the scary supernatural conflict; it’s how that conflict affects and changes and torments these characters, their relationships, their reactions and then the consequences of those reactions. The pacing was designed to make sure that those aspects were always the main focus, whether we realized it or not. At its center, EverymanHYBRID IS a horror story, but it’s absolutely NOT a thriller- EverymanHYBRID is a tragedy.

The story isn’t about Slenderman, or The Rake, or even HABIT. It’s about the Mining Town Four. It’s about The Voyeur, The Guardian, The Firebrand, and The Everyman. It’s about Stephanie, Jeff, Evan, and Vinny. It’s about a group of innocent people cursed to be reincarnated over and over in an infinite cycle, while trapped in a neverending conflict with unimaginable horror that they can’t ever hope to defeat. It’s about the hopeless, destructive, unfair struggle between man and evil. 

And they represented this idea through the most obvious and yet most clever medium possible- through four young, innocent, likable friends, who are tortured, driven apart, and destroyed by a formless source of malice that they don’t understand. EverymanHYBRID, in the end, is a tragic retelling of the oldest moral concept there is, on an impossibly large and yet painfully personal level.

And in my opinion? It’s pretty damn impressive that they managed to do all that with a youtube channel.

[edelgoth]

Hi, I'm 2w1 for ennea and (I think) ENFP for MBTI. I am a big nerd (obviously :D) and for hobbies I do MMA, photography, play the Mandolin, love folk music and acting. I like meeting new people even though it tires me out. My humor can be snarky, and I apologize way too much. I am not assertive at all, but do not shy away from difficult heart-to-heart moments. I do try to be there for people and normally see the best in other by default. DA2 or DA:I? & any gender, if you don't mind. Thank You!!

(Hi. It’s that 2w1) I think I for got to mention that I’m female, and I enjoy writing. But, yeah, thank you so much for if you see this!! ( If you’d like, I’d be happy to do a Dragon Age match up for you as well!!) Thank you again.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have no idea how excited i was to see a dragon age request in my inbox i’m,,, thank you so much! also, it’d be lovely if you did a matchup for me!! just message me! 

okay, so i tossed this one up a lot, but in dragon age ii, i match you with… 

fenris!!

i think you two have a nice amount of contrast! youhave the sort of personality that’ll help bring him some levity, while he has amore assertive edge

he strikes me of the certain of person to encourageyou to stop apologizing too much; not only have you not done anything wrong, but he has such a clear view of your valuethat the idea that you’re apologizing for nothing doesn’t make sense to him

you’d definitely be the “social point” of therelationship, if that makes sense; fenris is more than happy to let you dealwith other people, but he’s always there when you’re tired at the end ofthe day. he gets it,

he’d like to see your creative outlets, fromwriting to acting, and he’d be very supportive of them; he’s intrigued by howyou express yourself, and would value any extra understanding of you he couldgather from your work. i think he’d also really enjoy it when you played themandolin (i had to look up what that was for this and oh my goodness they’re so cute), and i think he’d be especiallyfond of the folk songs that had a story to them?

just imagine him resting his head on your legs withhis eyes closed as he listens to you pluck away at a laid-back tune,,, bless

i feel like he’d enjoy getting involved in mma withyou (or the thedas equivalent, depending on how you’d like to think of thismatchup), and it could be a good way for him to get more comfortable with beingtouched by others? that’s something he has to work through in a relationship,and while mma certainly isn’t intimate,it could be good practice? i have No Idea where this tangent is going, B U T itgives him a) an opportunity to get competitive for fun, and b) an opportunityto be close to you

fenris had a pretty good sense of humour, and ithink you’d bounce off each other quite well here. his humour is moreunderstated, so he’d like your snarky side 

but at the same time, i think being with someonewho has your outlook would be a good thing for him; he struggles with pessimism(with good reason), and he’s naturally distrustful (again, for very good reason). having someone whosaw the best in others would help remind him that things are okay, and that oneday, maybe things will get better

also, since you like meeting others, i feel likeyou’d help him get out of the house more? he has a habit of cooping himself up,but with the joint efforts of you and varric, he might see the light of day (orthe streetlights) just a little bit more

i think something else that’d be invaluable wouldbe your ability to have those difficult heart-to-heart conversations. fenrishas a lot to work through, and knowing he had someone with who he could behonest and vulnerable with would be precious. it would take him a while to getcomfortable with that, the dialogue you two would be able to have would helpyou both grow as people

and when all’s said and done, he’d try to be thatperson to you, too. i think a lot of people forget that fenris is a deeplycompassionate person at his core, and he wantsto connect with people; it’s just hard for him to really express thosesides of himself. but, knowing he was with someone who treated him with thekindness and patience he needed would inspire him to return that with attentivenessand care.

i love him so much thinking about him has made meemotional hhhhh 

alternative matchups

merrill: she was actually the first person i thought of, but i just felt more passionate about fenris tbh. that being said, i think your relationship with merrill would be quite different to that described above; you share the propensity to see the best in others, and you’re both very kind people. i can see merrill missing a lot of your snarky humour (to varying degrees of endearing), but she’d be as equally invested and supportive as you are. you’d have a very open, honest relationship, and it’d be the kind where you never went without affirmation and affection! 

varric tethras: honestly i can’t can’t quite put my finger on why i think you two would work well together, but this is a great match in my mind? varric is very different from the other two, but you guys would have a great rapport. you have similar senses of humour, artistic inclinations, and you both care a great deal about people. i think that while he definitely seems a tad more cynical than you, i think you’d understand each other very well. also, i think you’re the perfect mum for the kirkwall crew? and honestly, what else would varric look for in a partner? 

your inquisition matchup is under the cut because Big Yike guess i got carried away and this post is getting ridiculously long

in dragon age inquisition, i match you with… 

josephine montilyet!! 

i… love her so much i cannot put itinto words… and i think she would really love you!

first of all, kindest couple? you bothwant (and do) to see the best in people, and I’m guessing that extends to theworld in general, as well? josephine wants to make the world a better place,and you seem like the sort of person who can help her do that

also, beloved socialite couple! part ofher job is literally meeting new people, and she’d love taking her with you todo that. You’d flit through all those parties hand-in-hand, and she’d know exactlywhen to take over when you got tired

okay but josephine would want to takeyou everywhere with her, tbh. expectto travel the world with her, and whenever you meet anyone she knows, she’sdefinitely the sort to say “hello nice to see you have my met my partner? no? well, let me tell you—” before going ona long ramble about all your best qualities

your biggest fan, without a doubt. whileshe may not understand the wrestling (and certainly isn’t going to take partherself), she’ll be there cheering you on!

also loves seeing your creative work! she’senraptured whenever you’re on stage, she gets emotional when she reads yourprose (or poetry!), and she marvels at your ability to capture the beauty of theworld around you. It almost gets overwhelming tbh

she’d love your mandolin so much!! as anex-bard, she’d obviously have a bit of musical knowledge hidden in those puffedsleeves of hers, and she’d delight in hearing you play 

she’s not obviously nerdy, but I feellike josephine is a naturally curious person? Because of that, she’d lovehearing all about your interests and your hobbies, and would always have a cleverquestion to ask

she has a very stressful job, and she’dgreatly appreciate having a partner with whom she could be very honest and openwith. knowing she could be frank about her feelings with you would take amassive weight off her shoulders

you’d have a very good dialogue withone another, and it means that you don’t let things get bottled up or left tofester; your relationship is a very safe, comforting place for both of you, andit’s something you’re both thankful of!

and she’d be your biggest support too! josephineis a very emotional, loving person, and you’d never have to doubt how she feltabout you; she’d always be telling you how much she loves you and how much sheappreciates you

josephine is too good for the world andwe don’t deserve her,,, please duel for her hand in marriage and give her lotsof love

alternative matchups

blackwall: while he’s less bright than josephine, ifeel like the things he’d value in you would be the same. he’d appreciate theway you saw the best in other people, and i honestly think your lifephilosophies would be quite similar? i’m assuming here, but it just reads thatway to me. i feel like blackwall’s also very affirming, once you work out howhe shows love. he’s not as affectionate or overt as josephine, but he’d be justas supportive, once he felt secure in your relationship. he’s just a Good Man, youknow? it’s just going to take a while for him to relax and open up.

iron bull: okay so things would be very, very different withbull. your personalities would bounce off each other quite well, and ithink you’d be that couple that’s always laughing about something. bull would be the toughest nut to crack when it came toemotional openness, but i think he’d get there eventually. like fenris, he’dtell you that you don’t need to apologize so much. he’d teach you how to bemore assertive, and you’d teach him how to see the best in others. your ways ofseeing the world are more different than all the people listed above, but ithink that’d make for a really interesting relationship?

side note: i knowyou didn’t ask for a matchup for origins but,,, you sound perfect fororigins!leliana? softest couple 

[arrowdaily]

Monday’s installment of Arrow ended with Curtis Holt, aka Mr. Terrific (Echo Kellum), bidding adieu to Star City for a job in Washington, D.C. With that onscreen move comes Kellum’s official departure from the CW superhero show as a series regular, EW can now reveal.

In ‘Star City Slayer,” Curtis received a job offer from the Kohler Humanitarian Institute in DC because of the technology he’s developed. As he weighed his options, the team started tracking a serial killer, which led to Curtis using his tech to save Dinah (Juliana Harkavy) after the killer slit her throat. That feat helped him make the decision to take the job, because it would allow him to help as many people as possible. Diggle (David Ramsey) tried to get him to stay by offering him a promotion at ARGUS, but Curtis turned him down and handed Helix over to his partner in crime Felicity (Emily Bett Rickards) before leaving.

Kellum, on the other hand, made the decision to leave Arrow after four seasons because he wanted to spend more time with his family in Los Angeles and is interested in pursuing other ventures in music, writing, and directing. However, both Kellum and executive producer/showrunner Beth Schwartz assure EW that this isn’t the last of Mr. Terrific.

“I love working with Echo, who is an absolute delight and joy,” Schwartz tells EW in a statement. “Echo has always brought humor and heart to Arrow. Curtis is such a fun character to write for and he’ll be greatly missed. We haven’t seen the last of Mr. Terrific.”

Below, Kellum opens up about his decision to leave, his favorite moments on the show, and what’s next for him creatively.

Entertainment Weekly: How did your exit come about? Was it your decision, the producers’, or something mutual? Echo Kellum: I had a conversation with [then-showrunner] Marc Guggenheim in season 6. It was my idea. I have kids—I have a twelve-year-old kid—and it was just starting to feel like I should be back home more. First of all, I love working on this show. I love the cast, the producers. It’s the best cast I’ve ever worked with, the best studio. They’ve taken such great care of me and made me feel like I’ve been there since season 1. So all of this has been very bittersweet because I actually feel very crestfallen, because it’s so tough to leave such an amazing show. But I think for me, it just boiled down to family, and also I just wanted to try a couple of creative ventures in my life. I’m working on music, directing, and writing now. I still love acting, but it’s something I’m not looking at as the top thing of my career anymore. I’m looking at my career in a different light. So, I approached Marc. We had a long conversation about family and fatherhood and all those things, and he totally got where I was coming from. You know, Warner Bros. and the network were so generous to be able to let me exit gracefully. What I will say, this isn’t the end of Curtis. I’ll definitely come back as much as they want me back, and visit and guest-star and whatnot. So, it’s not the end of him. I guess it’s really a family decision overall, just to be a little closer to my kids. I’ve been around my kids more during the school parts of the year the most that I have been in the last four years, even in the past month. It was definitely not an easy decision.

Both Arrow and the Arrowverse as a whole have this sort of open-door policy where actors have the flexibility to come and go as they need. Did that make it easier for you to approach Marc and Beth about this? EK: Absolutely. I’ve know things that have happened with actors in the past, so that was definitely something that made it easier to broach the conversation. I went to them just to have a conversation—not being like, “Hey, I want off!” but just to gauge where they were, how they felt about how I was feeling, and all I got was full support. They didn’t want me to leave. I’m so thankful that they wanted me to be part of the show in the first place, and they still want me to be part of it. So, it’s definitely an open-door policy for me. I’ll come back any time they need me to come back, for sure, but right now? It’s really nice to be around family more and take care of these creative ventures that I’ve been working on in LA as well.

The episode ends with Curtis deciding he can put his tech to better use in Washington after he gets his job offer. How did you feel about the way Curtis was written off? EK: I liked it because it’s still innately Curtis wanting to help other people. He’s leaving in a way where he can try to have a bigger impact in trying to help other people in the world. I really appreciate that, because I hope it leaves open the door for him to pop back in every once in a while until they get to their 300th episode. [Laughs]

What was your last day on set like? EK: It was very emotional. I definitely cried. Everyone cried. It was really difficult because they are my family and all of us have such a great rapport, on-screen and off-screen. The last day was really tough. A lot of tears, a lot of cakes. But the last day, we shot in this spooky house, so it was very interesting. I feel good about my decision overall, but I’m going to miss all of them, miss being the trenches with them every day and laughing on set and just being silly, and then also just telling this amazing story that our amazing writers are crafting. So it’s just definitely very bittersweet. I’m exited for what’s in the future, but it’s tough to leave such an amazing show.

What do you think you’ll miss about Curtis, this character you’ve been with for four years? EK: I just like his charm. He’s so silly and he brings a lot of levity to a lot of the darkness that the show can permeate. I’m gonna miss that about him—that he just has a great outlook on life, like his positivity. It doesn’t mean he hasn’t dealt with hardships and doubting himself and whatnot, but I think I can pull that from him, of just being positive and looking at the bright side of things, and trying to do the best I can for my fellow man. I’m really going to miss playing those parts.

Looking back at these past four seasons, what was your favorite moment or episode on the show? EK: One of my favorite moments was getting to put on the Terrific 2.0 costume. That was such an hugely empowering moment for me personally as an actor. It was so great. But as you say that, the moment that comes back to me again and again is in episode 2 of season 5. Me, Rick Gonzalez, and Madison McLaughlin, who played Artemis, we were all having a scene. We’re training, Oliver’s got the bell. Oliver and Felicity have a moment, and we’re just in the background just kind of chilling and improvising some banter in character. Then, Rick says, “Hey, we on a TV show.” We are all still in character. [Laughs] It was just such a perfect moment from Wild Dog. As the character, I thought he would say something like this. “Look, there’s cameras everywhere,” and we’re like, “Dude, what are you talking about?” That moment was so funny and so meta. We talk about that moment so often. We’ll be shooting a scene and I’m like, “Rick, we on a TV show, man,” and then we just start laughing and cracking up. That is really one of the moments that touches my heart. Honestly, the moment that I really think about is the first moment when I got to meet Felicity and came in that first day. I just remember how amazing it was to feel welcomed and a part of that universe from the jump. That’s a moment that really holds true to my heart. Honestly, there are a couple of episodes from this season: The episode where I got to speak French, that was so much fun. The episode where I got to flip the script on Diaz (Kirk Acevedo) was so much fun too. I really like where they were going with him. I hope there can be some type of a future for him Arrowverse. It won’t be on an episodic basis, but I’m really proud of the work I got to do with this character and thankful that they let me play with him for four years.

Have you started talking to the writers about when that potential return might happen, or is that still far off? EK: We’ve had some discussions. Nothing’s been finalized at this point, but we’ve definitely discussed that aspect and they definitely made sure and clear that they want Curtis to come back. I can’t give you any definitive episodes or storylines, but it’s definitely something I’m 100 percent open to doing, and I believe they’re open to doing it too, so it should definitely work out at some point in the future.

If things aligned where you were available and they wanted you back, would you want to be involved in next year’s big “Crisis on Infinite Earths” crossover? EK: Of course, 100 percent! That’s going to be so epic and amazing! I would love to be a part of those crossovers.

Is there anything more you can share about what you have planned post-Arrow? EK: I’m working on music right now. It’s been a labor of love. I’ve been working on an album for the past two years, but now I’m afforded the time to actually focus on it and really get into the studio and bang some stuff out. I’ve been shooting some things. I just shot a short; got some financing for it and shot that. And writing a bunch of scripts. I have a feature that we’re out trying to sell right now and a pilot we’re out trying to sell right now. Everything is very irons-in-the-fire, but I’m just very confident in my future and my work ethic. I know it’s only a matter of time before things fall down.

What can we expect from your first album? EK: I mainly do hip-hop. I love being an MC and rapping. It’s something I’ve been doing since I was in high school. My brother was a hip-hop artist, and we lost him in 2006, unfortunately, so I’m trying to make something to honor him and everything he was doing. My music has always been a passion. I’m not doing it to make a million bucks. I’m just doing it for the love because I just want to put out my own creative venture in music and still getting some of the pieces together is just exciting.

Is there anything else you wanted to add? EK: I think the only thing I want to do is just thank all the fans for giving me a shot. For all the fans that loved me and for all the fans that didn’t love me so much, thanks for watching, thanks for caring, thanks for making me feel like I was part of something special, because it is a special show. I will see you guys in the future on other projects. And excelsior!

[justgenlockthings]

gen:VIEW Episode 2, “There’s Always Tomorrow”

Rooster Teeth knows how to make a premiere that packs a punch when it comes to their serialized dramas (yes, I’m including Red vs. Blue in that category). But it’s the non-premiere episodes that generally give you a better idea of if the show’s gonna be good or not.

Or maybe you’re someone like TheFloofArtist and you were predisposed to hate the show long before you even saw it and so found literally every possible reason to hate it from the 2nd episode and dramatically “dropped it” despite the fact that if you hated the show so much you were shitting on it without having seen a single episode your opinion was never gonna be considered valid.

(Why do grown men throw hissy fits about TV shows?)

Ahem...so. Episode 2 of gen:LOCK...

Let’s Get Down To Business

Where episode 1 was about establishing the relationship between Chase and Miranda, this episode seems to be about establishing the gen:LOCK program itself: how it works and who’s gonna be in it. For that reason, at least for the first half, it’s very expository, but not in a way that ever feels boring. Honestly, the longer episode lengths means the amount of time they spend standing around and talking doesn’t feel like vital time wasted, unlike RWBY which has often made that terrible mistake. This is information we need to get a basic understanding of how this program works, and we also get a chance to hear Dr. Weller passionately talking about his life’s work. Jesus christ, David Tennant gives such a good performance. He really sells the good guy mad scientist voice you expect from Dr. Weller.

I wasn’t entirely sold on Michael B. Jordan as a voice actor the previous episode, but even if at certain points it was clear we were watching a scene that hadn’t been initially animated to his voice, this episode convinced me things were gonna be fine. I loved his performance in the scene of Julian in the tank chatting with Migas: the sort of bittersweetness of the reunion between the two after all that had happened to them, but they were still glad to finally see each other again. Miles Luna deserves some praise too for helping sell the fact that this is a reunion. After all, even though we caught a brief moment of them interacting and joking around in Episode 1, we didn’t really have a chance to establish they were close friends. This scene does well to convince us that yes, they were friends, and they are relieved to see each other again.

Chase and Miranda’s situation was very well-handled in this episode. It was always going to be painful for Miranda to find out Chase was still alive, and even though it’s perfectly logical that Chase wasn’t able to reach out to her in the intervening years, it still isn’t something she can just brush over. She didn’t immediately jump at the chance to see him in-person, and actively avoided him for a day. It would have been a major mistake for her to be the first one who went to visit him. I love this whole situation with Miranda: the way the marketing was going you kind of expected just a bland character defined by her relationship with Chase, and, well, I guess what she does in this episode is sort of defined by the relationship, but it’s done in a way that’s actually interesting, where you actually care about how she feels about all this. Dakota Fanning does a great job conveying the hurt Miranda feels seeing someone she loved after so long who she’d given up for dead. I think she might easily be the third best voice actor we’ve heard so far, behind Monica Rial and David Tennant.

Here’s another case where one of my few pre-show expectations got subverted. From the character teasers I’d sort of expected us to get a depiction of the formation of the gen:LOCK program from the start: presumably that path would have followed Chase and Yasamin’s initial training and the early mech designs we saw in the early posters and the first two teasers. Of course, this was before I had known what they were planning with Chase’s crash, a path in the story that I could not have possibly predicted. And now I’m realizing why they didn’t do that: 1) it would have been too similar to RWBY and probably have made for a very slow show otherwise, and 2) they wanted to get right into the giant mechs fighting things. Sure, it sort of robs us of seeing some cool stuff about what it was like for Chase to join the program, but I figure we’ll get that depicted in flashbacks or in the comics.

One of the accusations regarding Kazu Iida was that having him speak Japanese while everyone else was speaking English would create “The Lopez Effect.” For those unaware, Lopez is a robot on Rooster Teeth’s show Red vs. Blue who speaks “Spanish” (really sentences run through Google Translate) that is translated for the audience via subtitles but no one else can understand. Now, for what the complain actually entails, I think “Lopez effect” is a bad term for it because Lopez’s situation is played for laughs while in gen:LOCK everyone understands Iida and doesn’t bat an eye. The complaint is more that it creates a tonal dissonance in what’s designed as a dramatic show: while everyone’s speaking English Kazu’s saying all his lines in Japanese with subtitles. Now, I can understand why that could all sound a little weird, but the thing is the way they set things up in the episode I really don’t think Iida speaking English is gonna be as distracting as one might think: they set it up where the characters can understand what he’s saying thanks to the augmented reality gear everyone seems equipped with, so that already established a method of communication, and I just didn’t give any thought to the fact he’s speaking Japanese for the rest of the episode. I would honestly be more bothered if he just spoke English all the time.

The other accusation is that the fact that he is the only character who speaks a foreign language was they’d have an excuse to get the voice of Spike Spiegel, which apparently is bad because it’s “weeb-baiting.” I’m sorry, I didn’t realize they were trying to draw audiences in with who they were casting...

As far as the new gen:LOCK recruits go, we didn’t get too much information about them, and this is probably the only issue I have with this episode. Still, there was a lot going on here, so I can forgive not learning everything about them in their first appearance. And the thing is, the sequence with the imposter Sinclair (bravo to Blaine Gibson for being able to flip a coin––heheh––from friendly recruit Sinclair to Evil!Sinclair) offered us a good glimpse into who they are as fighters. Especially in recent years, Rooster Teeth fights are a chance to really get an idea for the character (and for that I wholeheartedly thank Monty Oum) and how they handle dangerous situations. Yasamin is clearly someone who can jump into a fight and hold her own without hesitation, Iida is someone who will jump right into a fight, Valentina will keep her distance but can still be quite deadly, and Cammie is a scared little bean...who with a little encouragement can still be helpful.

Now, the Sinclair reveal was a slight bit predictable if you picked up the hints in Character Reveal Teaser 4 (which I hadn’t, and in retrospect was blatantly obvious). The fact that it was predictable was the source of derision by some of the more gen:CRIT crowd, but honestly? I don’t see predictability as a sign of whether something’s good or not. Things can be predictable and still be fun to watch, so long as it’s delivered in an entertaining manner. And we got a pretty awesome fight sequence out of it.

I’ve seen a few people say that the jokes in this show feel forced. I’m inclined to disagree. The type of humor Gray and Evan are employing in the writing is more grounded than the kind you see in RWBY or Red vs. Blue or Camp Camp: it’s designed to feel more natural to the conversations these characters are having, while also not taking attention away from the more serious aspects of the story. Most of Rooster Teeth’s core group (more recent additions less-so) know how to create an engaging story based in serious tones, but they never really stray from their comedy roots––Day 5, their most dramatic venture to date, was a lot funnier than the concept would’ve implied because Josh and Chris knew where to inject humor when it would be desperately needed. This episode isn’t very different: the drama of Chase basically coming back from the dead gets natural moments of levity from his and Migas brief Siege mention and Dr. Weller being disappointed that he couldn’t participate in the reveal; the tension between Chase and Miranda gets a moment where Miranda refuses to hear out Migas on visiting Chase, a moment that can draw laughs while also being realistic to her and Chase’s actual situation; Chase popping up behind Fake!Sinclair and saying “Boo,” which...actually that was more a legit joke, but I laughed really hard. What I mean to say is gen:LOCK is not trying to be a comedy, but Rooster Teeth knows how and when to make its audience laugh.

(save for Red vs. Blue Season 16 of course...)

Conclusions

Another solid episode of gen:LOCK, and a little more interesting one than “The Pilot” because it delves into the meatier stuff that this series is going to follow. Stellar vocal performances by the cast give us a sense of the relationships that need to be picked up in the four years since the war began, and some amazing fighting shows us gen:LOCK means business as an action series.

My only concern is that the way this episode is formatted it doesn’t quite stand on its own in the way “The Pilot” did, but the fact that it was released alongside “The Pilot” worked in its favor, since both episodes give us a good ground to establish what this show is looking to do, and hopefully further episodes will follow on that.

I’ve said enough about people who were predisposed to hate the show commenting on this episode, but I wanna say this also: people. We are two episodes in. The show premiered less than a week ago. There isn’t a whole lot of content to draw from to know where it’s going. Be a little more patient.

[caitsbooks]

Cait’s Books Reviews: Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

Overall: 5/5 Stars Characters: 5/5 Setting: 5/5 Writing: 5/5 Plot and Themes: 5/5 Awesomeness Factor: 5/5 Review in a Nutshell: Crooked Kingdom is the epic finale you never could have imagined. It is enthralling, earthshaking, and electrifying. You can't miss this book.

“Sometimes, the only way to get justice is to take it for yourself.”

Blog || Goodreads || Bookstagram || Twitter  || Reviews 

// Content Warning: Violence, Death, Gun Violence, Sexual Assault (Sex trafficking, not shown), Drug Addiction, Abuse, PTSD, Genocide //

"Be the thing they all fear when they close their eyes at night.” 

- Premise -

Crooked Kingdom takes place after the events of Six of Crows, following everyone's favorite criminals as they seek justice and vengeance.

“No mourners, no funerals. Another way of saying good luck. But it was something more. A dark wink to the fact that there would be no expensive burials for people like them, no marble markers to remember their names, no wreaths of myrtle and rose.”

- Setting -

I love the world Leigh Bardugo has built. With every new novel, she adds so much depth to this fascinating fantasy world. There are so many intricate layers in Ketterdam alone that make this setting so interesting. I loved seeing more of the darker side of this world that Leigh created.

“Fear is a phoenix. You can watch it burn a thousand times and still it will return.”

- Writing -

I think it's been established that Leigh Bardugo is a goddess. Her writing style is beautiful, with gorgeous prose and elegant flow, plus a fair share of humor and levity to break up the dark story. You can tell how carefully she crafted sentences to create this atmosphere of this series.

“I don’t hold a grudge. I cradle it. I coddle it. I feed it fine cuts of meat and send it to the best schools. I nurture my grudges, Rollins.”

- Plot-

Crooked Kingdom doesn't waste any time throwing you into this world. It definitely starts off faster than Six of Crows did, and the plot itself is engrossing and captivating. I never wanted to put it down.

“'Has anyone noticed this whole city is looking for us, mad at us, or wants to kill us?' 'So?' said Kaz. 'Well, usually it's just half the city.'”

- Characters -

I love these characters with all of my heart. Our main group of criminals are so well-developed, with even more of their backstories being fleshed out and explained. Each of their arcs are fascinating to watch (especially Matthias. His development is so. freaking. good). There are even some cameos from characters from the original Grisha trilogy (but don't worry, you still don't need to know anything about that series to love this one). I loved seeing them all again!

“Suffering is like anything else. Live with it long enough, you learn to like the taste.”

- Conclusion -

Pros- The best characters ever, amazing plot, beautiful writing, and overall perfection Cons- This book made me cry in the middle of my philosophy lecture. Luckily, my professor didn't call me out. And before you say that I shouldn't have been reading during class-- start this book and tell me you wouldn't prefer reading it than learning about the ethics of euthanasia. Overall- 5/5 stars.  Crooked Kingdom will make you laugh, cry, and scream. This book cements this duology as one of the best YA fantasies I've ever read.

“I would have come for you. And if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together-knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting.”

[recoversoft]

The Best First Date Questions & Pro Tips for a Great Conversation

First dates are a lot like job interviews, except the eventual potential for reward? Much, much higher. Which is why first date questions are so important; good first date questions are a way to connect with your date and figure out if he or she is interested. Asides from being a good way to get to know the other person better, a good first date conversation let you know if there’s potential for a second date. That’s why it’s very important to know what kind of questions to ask on a first date. So, what are examples of first date questions that work?

1. I’ve been watching X. Any good movies or TV shows?

With the number of streaming services, and amount of content on each, there’s a fairly good chance this question will come in handy, especially if you’re a TV buff. And if you’re not, it’s a great way to get recommendations!

Note: Watching a movie one or both of you hasn’t seen is a great idea for a later date.

2. Is there any food you don’t eat?

With many first dates at restaurants, this is a natural question to ask. It’s also good to know, both for future date purposes and safety purposes; you wouldn’t, for instance, take someone with a known shellfish allergy to Red Lobster.

Pro tip: Follow up by asking what the most memorable dish they’ve ever eaten was; you’re guaranteed to hear some great stories!

3. What kind of vacations do you like to take?

Asking someone what their last vacation was is one of the most fraught first date questions even in non-pandemic times. Asking what they’d like to do, instead, gives you an insight into their personality. Are they the relax-on-the-beach type, or the explore-all-day type? Do they like to rough it, or is it five star all the way? It might even give you ideas for future vacations together!

Pro tip: Asking about dream destinations or ideal vacations are great follow up first date questions!

4. What makes you laugh?

In virtually every study of ‘what singles want in a partner,’ a good sense of humor ranks high. No matter the season of life they’re in, single men and women want a partner who can bring levity and lightness to the relationship.

Note: Discovering the kinds of things that make your partner laugh will tell you about their personality and outlook on life.

5. What are your relationship dealbreakers?

While this might seem like a harsh question, it’s important – especially if you’re looking for a long-term relationship – to lay your cards on the table. If one of you wants kids and other doesn’t, or one loves the nomadic lifestyle and the other can’t wait to put down roots, it’s best it come up in a first date conversation rather than an argument years down the line.

Pro tip: Think about what your dealbreakers are, whether kids, living conditions, or politics, and you’ll be better to answer this question when it’s your turn.

6. Is there something you’ve always wanted to learn?

You never know what hidden depths your date might have. Maybe he is secretly fascinated by Ancient Egyst, or maybe she would love to know more about marine biology. Asking about learning when it comes to first date questions not only demonstrates intellectual curiosity, it might just net you a long-term study buddy!

Pro tip: Deepen the conversation with a question about their favorite subject in school, or a teacher they either loved or hated.

7. Do you have any odd talents?

This one is a little off the wall, but that’s the point! People are unique, and you never know what charming talent – writing backwards, cutting onions without crying (jealous!) or playing the piano upside down – your date might have.

Pro tip: Asking if there’s something your date is proud of is a great complement to this slightly off the wall nature of this first date question.

8. ’Would You Rather…’

This old standby is a classic for a reason. It’s a great way to assuage your curiosity, and can offer a fun conversational rabbit hole to fall into. Examples: Would you rather have many casual friends, or a few close ones? Would you rather live in a cabin in Alaska or an apartment in NYC? Would you rather have a fast car or a fast Internet connection?

Pro tip: Other classic games like ���Never Have I Ever’ also work great for first date questions. You never know what you might find out!

9. Where is ‘home’?

Everyone can rattle off where they currently live and where they’ve traveled before now, but the definition of ‘home’ can widely differ from where they currently pay rent. Is ‘home’ where he/she was raised? Where family lives? Where certain adventures were had?

Note: This first date conversation allows you to get to where their heart is tied to.

10. What do your Saturdays usually look like?

How discretionary time is used says a lot about a person, so don’t hesitate to ask this question on your first date. If someone works on their ‘day off,’ they might be highly career-oriented…or maybe a workaholic. If someone spends the day coaching a kids’ soccer team, it’s a good bet they love sports, enjoy kids and want to help others excel. If someone watches TV and plays video games all day, somebody enjoys their free time relaxing and doing nothing at all.

Note: This question is a must, considering not all of your time spent together in a long-term relationship can be candlelit and wine-filled.

11. What’s your big passion?

This first date question gets to the core of a person’s being. If your date responds with “I dunno,” that might be a red flag that he or she isn’t passionate about anything. But you’re likely to get valuable insight from the person who answers —from traveling and their children to rock climbing or their church — that give you insight into their value system.

Pro tip: Follow up with questions about why the person become so passionate about this particular endeavor or emphasis.

12. Do you have a special place you like to visit regularly?

We’ve all got our go-to spots that keep luring us back, whether they are funky coffee shops, scenic hiking trails, or relaxing weekend getaway locales. Your date may have a local park that they frequent or a European city that’s been a regular destination.

Note: Learning where your partner likes to go asking this first date question will provide insight into the person’s tastes and temperament.

13. What’s the most interesting job you’ve ever had?

No matter where they are in the career ladder, chances are your date will have at least one unusual or intriguing job to tell you about. Which will give you a chance to share about your own most fascinating work experience.

Note: Though lighthearted, this first date question gives your could-be partner the opportunity to exercise their storytelling abilities.

14. Do you have a dream you’re pursuing?

At any stage of life, dreams should be nurtured, cultivated, and acted on. Hopefully, you have dreams for your future, whether they involve career achievement, world travel, volunteerism or artistic expression. You want to know if the dreams of your date mesh with your own.

Pro tip: Listen closely to discern if your dreams are compatible and complementary.

15. Who are the most important people in your life?

The more long-term or serious a relationship gets, the less it’s just about that one person and more about the people they love. Asking about family and friends on the first date isn’t just a great way to indicate that this isn’t just a casual thing, it’s also a great way to watch for dating red flags – in the way they talk about parents, siblings, relatives or friends, for instance, or how they only have stories that are filled with Drama.

Pro tip: Finding out about their relationships with family and friends will give you insight on how any relationship with you might work and is one of the best questions to ask on a first date!

What not to ask on your first date

Just as there are good questions to ask on a first date, there are some topics you should avoid. For example, questions that are too personal or simply asked too early. Since they’re better than a bucket full of cold water at snuffing out any heat between you two. A non-exhaustive list of first date topics that are better not broached at all:

Why did your last relationship end?

Do you always eat/drink this much?

Anything about sex.

How much they earn, or if they own their own house.

Tell me about yourself

Always be prepared, it’s important for a good first date

While eharmony’s unique Compatibility Matching System does a lot of the work when it comes to finding someone to connect with, actually doing so is in your hands. First date questions can make or break the night, and by extension decide whether the relationship is worth pursuing. So, after you’ve let eharmony find you someone special for date #1, be sure to come prepared and you’ll be that much closer to date #2.

JOIN NOW

[thecaffeinebookwarrior]

The Dos and Don’ts of Beginning a Novel:  An Illustrated Guide

I’ve had a lot of asks lately for how to begin a book (or how not to), so here’s a post on my general rules of thumb for story openers and first chapters!  

Please note, these are incredibly broad generalizations;  if you think an opener is right for you, and your beta readers like it, there’s a good chance it’s A-OK.  When it comes to writing, one size does not fit all.  (Also note that this is for serious writers who are interested in improving their craft and/or professional publication, so kindly refrain from the obligatory handful of comments saying “umm, screw this, write however you want!!”)

So without further ado, let’s jump into it!

Don’t: 

1.  Open with a dream. 

“Just when Mary Sue was sure she’d disappear down the gullet of the monstrous, winged pig, she woke up bathed in sweat in her own bedroom.”

What?  So that entire winged pig confrontation took place in a dream and amounts to nothing?  I feel so cheated! 

Okay, not too many people open their novels with monstrous swine, but you get the idea:  false openings of any kind tend to make the reader feel as though you’ve wasted their time, and don’t usually jump into more meaty action of the story quickly enough.  It makes your opening feel lethargic and can leave your audience yawning.

Speaking of... 

2.  Open with a character waking up.  

This feels familiar to most of us, but unless your character is waking up to a zombie attack or an alien invasion, it’s generally a pretty easy recipe to get your story to drag.

No one picks a book to hear how your character brushes their teeth in the morning or what they’d like to have for dinner.  As a general rule of thumb, we read to explore things we wouldn’t otherwise get to experience.  And cussing out the alarm clock is not one of them.  

Granted, there are exceptions if your writing is exceptionally engaging, but in most cases it just sets a slow pace that will bore you and your reader to death and probably cause you to lose interest in your book within the first ten pages.  

3.  Bombard with exposition.  

Literary characters aren’t DeviantArt OCs.  And the best way to convey a character is not, in my experience, to devote the first ten pages to describing their physical appearance, personality, and backstory.  Develop your characters, and make sure their fully fleshed out -- my tips on how to do so here -- but you don’t need to dump all that on the reader before they have any reason to care about them.  Let the reader get to know the character gradually, learn about them, and fall in love with them as they would a person:  a little bit at a time.   

This is iffy when world building is involved, but even then it works best when the delivery feels organic and in tune with the book’s overall tone.  Think the opening of the Hobbit or Good Omens.

4.  Take yourself too seriously.

Your opener (and your novel in general) doesn’t need to be intellectually pretentious, nor is intellectual pretense the hallmark of good literature.  Good literature is, generally speaking, engaging, well-written, and enjoyable.  That’s it.  

So don’t concern yourself with creating a poetic masterpiece of an opening line/first chapter.  Just make one that’s -- you guessed it -- engaging, well-written, and enjoyable. 

5.  Be unintentionally hilarious.

Utilizing humor in your opening line is awesome, but check yourself to make sure your readers aren’t laughing for all the wrong reasons (this is another reason why betas are important.)  

These examples of the worst opening lines in published literature will show you what I mean -- and possibly serve as a pleasant confidence booster as well: 

It was like so, but wasn’t.

— Richard Powers

Those of us acquainted with their sordid and scandalous story were not surprised to hear, by way of rumors from the various localities where the sorceresses had settled after fleeing our pleasant town of Eastwick, Rhode Island, that the husbands whom the three Gordforsaken women had by their dark arts concocted for themselves did not prove durable.

— John Updike

The cabin-passenger wrote in his diary a parody of Descartes: “I feel discomfort, therefore I am alive,” then sat pen in hand with no more to record.

—Graham Greene

Indian Summer is like a woman.

— Grace Metalious

If these can get published, so can you.

Do:

1.  You know that one really interesting scene you’re itching to write?  Start with that.

Momentum is an important thing in storytelling.  If you set a fast, infectious beat, you and your reader will be itching to dance along with it.  

Similarly, slow, drowsy openers tend to lead to slow, drowsy stories that will put you both to sleep.

I see a lot of posts joking about “that awkward moment when you sit down to write but don’t know how to get to that one scene you actually wanted to write about.”  Write that scene!  If it’s at all possible, start off with it.  If not, there are still ways you can build your story around the scenes you actually want to write.

Keep in mind:  if you’re bored, your reader will almost certainly be bored as well.  So write what you want to write.  Write what makes you excited.  Don’t hold off until later, when it “really gets good.”  Odds are, the reader will not wait around that long, and you’re way more likely to become disillusioned with your story and quit.  If a scene is dragging, cut it out.  Burn bridges, find a way around.  Live, dammit. 

2.  Engage the reader.

There are several ways to go about this.  You can use wit and levity, you can present a question, and you can immerse the reader into the world you’ve created.  Just remember to do so with subtlety, and don’t try too hard;  believe me, it shows.  

Here are some of my personal favorite examples of engaging opening lines: 

"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." 

-- Douglas Adams, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

"It was the day my grandmother exploded."

-- Iain Banks, Crow Road.

“A white Pomeranian named Fluffy flew out of the a fifth-floor window in Panna, which was a grand-new building with the painter’s scaffolding still around it. Fluffy screamed.”

-- Vikram Chandra, Sacred Games.

See what I’m saying?  They pull you in and do not let go.

3.  Introduce us to a main character (but do it right.)

“Shadow had done three years in prison. He was big enough and looked don't-fuck-with-me enough that his biggest problem was killing time. So he kept himself in shape, and taught himself coin tricks, and thought a lot about how much he loved his wife.”

-- Neil Gaiman, American Gods.

This is one of my favorite literary openings of all time, because right off the bat we know almost everything we need to know about Shadow’s character (i.e. that he’s rugged, pragmatic, and loving.)   

Also note that it doesn’t tell us everything about Shadow:  it presents questions that make us want to read more.  How did Shadow get into prison?  When will he get out?  Will he reunite with his wife?  There’s also more details about Shadow slowly sprinkled in throughout the book, about his past, personality, and physical appearance.  This makes him feel more real and rounded as a character, and doesn’t pull the reader out of the story.

Obviously, I’m not saying you should rip off American Gods.  You don’t even need to include a hooker eating a guy with her cooch if you don’t want to.  

But this, and other successful openers, will give you just enough information about the main character to get the story started;  rarely any good comes from infodumping, and allowing your reader to get to know your character gradually will make them feel more real.   

4.  Learn from the greats.

My list of my favorite opening lines (and why I love them) is right here.

5.  Keep moving.  

The toughest part of being a writer is that it’s a rare and glorious occasion when you’re actually satisfied with something you write.  And to add another layer of complication, what you like best probably won’t be what your readers will like best. 

If you refuse to keep moving until you have the perfect first chapter, you will never write anything beyond your first chapter.  

Set a plan, and stick to it:  having a daily/weekly word or page goal can be extremely helpful, especially when you’re starting out.  Plotting is a lifesaver (some of my favorite posts on how to do so here, here, and here.)

Keep writing, keep moving, and rewrite later.  If you stay in one place for too long, you’ll never keep going. 

Best of luck, and happy writing.  <3

[authorlaneblevins]

Don’t Mistreat Your Secondary Characters!

One of the worst offenses a writer can commit against their stories (and, by extension, their audiences) is to de-emphasize the characterization of their secondary characters in favor of only lending development to their main protagonists. Writers often make the mistake of taking their secondary characters for granted by glossing over their motivations, neglecting to give them multidimensional traits and qualities, or making it clear that they exist only to serve the needs of the protagonist or the plot. Here are some things to keep in mind while character-mapping or writing your secondary characters:

1. Consider the character’s goals and motivations: Here’s the thing about secondary characters: they shouldn’t behave as if they are aware that they are secondary characters. Each character is the protagonist of their own story, and as such, they have to be given the same level of consideration. If the character is helping the protagonist to achieve his ends, then what is their motivation for doing so? Self-preservation? Do they possess an honorable nature and a strict moral code of devotion and loyalty to their friends? Do they see any other benefits for themselves, such as earning riches or achieving fame and admiration?

The secondary character doesn’t have to outright state their motives, but the reader should be able to discern these motivations through previous interactions or scenes that establish who this character is. In other words, the audience should never be left to think that “because…protagonist” is the secondary character’s motivation for helping the protagonist in his or her arc. The secondary character must have his or her own reasons for any action they take. This also goes for secondary characters who act out of character just to cause unnecessary conflict in the plot: the audience will immediately pick up on the inconsistency because the character’s actions don’t fit their previously established motivations (or they have never been given any motivations beyond “because…protagonist,” which would make their sudden disruptive behavior even more illogical). In Captain America: Winter Soldier, for example, Natasha Romanoff doesn’t just help Steve Rogers because it’s convenient to the plot; she does so because of her moral code (as we saw in The Avengers, she believes very firmly in paying off her debts when she feels she owes someone for their deeds), and out of a sense of duty to Nick Fury.

2. Dimensionality: Have you ever seen that character in a book, film or television series whose sole purpose in the universe is to offer some levity in tense situations? This character is not-so-lovingly referred to as the “comic relief,” and he or she becomes problematic for the narrative when humor is the only trait and purpose he or she has been given. There are several other “types” in fiction who can be damaged by the pitfalls of one-dimensionality: “the love interest,” “the bully,” “the sidekick,” just to name a few. To reiterate, the problem with these characters is not that they fall into a type or trope, but that they are given no further development beyond that trope. You can have a love interest who also has a purpose beyond being the protagonist’s object of desire; take Lupita Nyong’o’s character, Nakia, in Black Panther, who had her own goals and interests outside of T’Challa, which allowed her to be a fully-developed character instead of a cardboard cut-out.

Part of establishing multi-dimensionality in a secondary character is, as mentioned before, giving the character their own aims and goals. Another way to establish multi-dimensionality is to give a character more than one attribute. Think of the people you know in real life: no one is ever just one thing. The funniest person you know may also have a nasty habit of jealousy and self-doubt, and they might be fiercely loyal. Or think of your own love interest: surely you have developed an emotional connection with this person because of not just one trait, but the entire amalgamation of traits, both positive and negative, which formulate who they are as human beings. The same should go for any secondary character: they should possess a realistic amount of attributes and weaknesses to fully humanize them.  

3. Agency: As stated before, “because…protagonist” is not a legitimate reason for a secondary character to do anything, let alone for them to base their every decision or action on. No character’s life should revolve around the protagonist’s just because they’re the protagonist. A character who is only there to serve as the protagonist’s cheerleader, to do their bidding or to follow their every whim, is a character who lacks agency.

Your secondary characters can of course have moments of selflessness, but should also, for the most part, do something because they think it will help them to achieve their own goals, or because it fits into their morals. Brienne of Tarth in Game of Thrones, for example, follows her code of honor against all odds and, at times, against her best interests; because this has always been an aspect of her character, her actions and decisions make sense within the context of her moral code.

When it fits their character to do so, they should also act independently or even counter to the protagonist’s desires. If you have built a multidimensional character who possesses his or her own motivations and goals, then as long as their actions are in line with those aspects of their character, you will be giving them the agency to affect the plot and the protagonist, as opposed to simply serving the plot and the protagonist.

[vincent-marie]

So... Can I talk about Tim Burton for a few minutes?

I was recently thinking about how a lot of filmmakers, particularly the likes of Zack Snyder, seem to have these really cynical, defeatist attitudes, and yet despite the absence of happy endings, audiences apparently eat that shit up with how much of a profit it turns out.

At first I just kind of shrug my shoulders and say, "Who am I to judge? I've been a die-hard Tim Burton fan for years."

But actually thinking about it, even I am way off. Most, if not all of, Snyder's work is just nonstop misery and cynicism, giving off this idea that there's no point to being a hero or doing good things unless it benefits you. I'll spare you the anger-fueled lecture about how objectivism is a bullshit philosophy for already-selfish assholes, but what always bothered me is that there's no point to the cynicism and misery in his movies.

And that brings me back to Tim Burton. Yes, the guy's movies are popular with gloomy, mopey teenagers and some adults in the Goth community, but his movies, the good ones, aren't all the gloom-fests folks usually write them off as.

"Pee Wee's Big Adventure" I don't need to tell you is just fun and weird. In fact, it's goofy and upbeat, and it's all about Pee Wee going on this strangely epic journey to retrieve his stolen bicycle. I've never been a big fan of Pee Wee Herman, but even I enjoy this movie to the point that I'll probably watch it if it's on TV.

"Beetlejuice" is dark, but it's not really that depressing. It's a dark comedy about how the afterlife isn't all it's cracked up to be, and while it does have a character who contemplates suicide, the ghosts in the film talk her down by telling her, "Being dead doesn't make things any easier."

"Batman" is kind of its own thing as it was more of a studio commission rather than a pet project of any kind, but over all it was fun and ended on a rather triumphant note. Might not hold up as well as we think, but it got folks outside of comic fans to take Batman seriously (for a while.)

"Edward Scissorhands" has a sad ending, yes, but in a way that's cathartic and tragic and in a way that feels earned. It was an homage to classic "Frankenstein" movies, there's a good quirky sense of humor about suburban life, and it's coated with a good layer of whimsy that makes it less emotionally draining and more like a fairy tale. In fact, when you're a teenager struggling with mental illness and social anxiety like I was, Edward's situation of wanting to experience love but too afraid to get close to people for fear of hurting them is really relatable at that age. And while a lot of us wished Edward and Kim could've had a happy ending, I always took it as at least Edward got to experience that sense of belonging for a short while.

(Also, see Lindsay Ellis’s video on "The Shape of Water” and why we love Beauty and the Beast tropes.)

"Batman Returns" is the only one that kind of fits people's perception of "Tim Burton: Master of Gloom". Catwoman's story basically begins in tragedy and ends in tragedy, and that does suck because she was a cool character. (She was even supposed to get her own spin-off movie in which she rose back up again as a hero, but that never happened.) And the less said about how unnecessarily gross the Penguin was, the better. Yet I still consider "Batman Returns" to be my favorite of the live-action Batman movies. It’s just so cartoonish and silly in some places while also having that whimsical darkness to it that, for me, is just pure indulgence. Plus it’s what got me interested in Batman altogether, so there’s that.

Then there's "Ed Wood". I've always considered it the best Tim Burton film hands-down because you don't need to be a fan to like it. There's the friendship between Ed Wood and Bela Legosi that's like the film's centerpiece, but at its core it's about a filmmaker who wants to do the thing he loves and he remains cheerful and optimistic in spite of the cynical world that is Hollywood. You might disagree with me since both the real Ed Wood and his movie counterpart never got to have the fame and recognition he would have liked in his lifetime, but I always found that very inspiring as an artist myself.

For me that's pretty much the cut-off date for when his movies were mostly good. From "Mars Attacks!" and onward they're pretty much hit-or-miss with most people and I don't have the brain-juice to go into all of them to the present day.

I will say that "Sweeney Todd" was my first big disappointment as it took the Stephen Sondheim musical and sucked out all the humor and levity that helped balance out the darker elements. Not quite worth the novelty of hearing Johnny Depp sing.

But my point stands. I've seen folks dismiss Tim Burton's works as just "porn for fourteen year old girls", and that always bugged me because that wasn't giving enough credit to a good handful of movies that were a positive influence on me. Since my high school years my fan devotion has waned a lot (especially after that stupid way he tried to excuse himself for not casting more actors of color), but the likes of "Edward Scissorhands", "Ed Wood", and even "Batman Returns" were what helped inspire me to want to pursue art and animation.

[i-may-have-a-point]

Review of 14x04 “Ain’t That a Kick in the Head”

Sorry for the delay in posting!  Life.   Amelia - I mentioned this last week, but I want to say again how surprised I am that Amelia’s brain tumor story moved so quickly.  I guess her real story this year will be figuring out who she is without this tumor impacting her actions and decisions.  Marlana Hope is a welcome addition to the writing team after seeing how she wrote this particular story in this episode.  Dr. Koracick is arrogant but likable, Amelia’s reactions are realistic, and humor is interjected well for a story about such a tough topic.  April being Amelia’s POA and explaining, “What?  Was I supposed to say no?” added levity to a scene where Amelia said her good-byes to her loved ones.  “In this moment, I love you people tremendously.”  What a perfect line.  The scene transitions to Amelia and her team standing in the superhero pose, and Dr. Koracick speaks for all of us when he whispers, “I love this,” over the stunning instrumental music.  “With surgery, you worry that you won’t wake up.  With brain surgery, you worry that you will wake up, but you won’t be there when you do.”  That is a beautiful way to explain Amelia’s fear.  Who is she without this tumor?  Well, we are about to find out as we watch Dr. Koracick cut her tumor out while singing along to the Beach Boys.  The contrast of the music with the seriousness of the scene could not have been better.  Whoever chose the music for this episode should choose the music for the rest of the season.  After surgery, Amelia being aware of what was happening but not being able to communicate was terrifying to watch but a nice nod to Derek’s death.  I also thought Deluca  was a nice addition to this story.  He never quite found his place in seasons past, but so far, I like him in neuro with Amelia.  The scene where he forced her to sit in the chair because she made him promise to do so was brilliant.  Amelia screaming in her head while collapsed against his chest, weeping, was one of my favorite scenes of the night.

I think Caterina has done an amazing job with this story, but I have to mention my issues with the story as well.  Using a brain tumor to rewrite Amelia’s personality is frustrating to me. I didn’t think her personality was THAT bad, and it’s unrealistic.  My dad passed away from cancer a little over a month ago.  It spread to his brain, and he had his brain tumor removed in April.  His tumor may have been different from the one Amelia has, but brain tumors don’t just make people act a little odd.  They are debilitating.  They affect memory, speech, vision, and motor skills.  They don’t just cause you to make poor life choices..  I  know I have to look past reality to accept this story, and that’s fine because it’s a TV show, but a part of me wishes they hadn’t depicted brain tumors so inaccurately.  

Bailey/Webber/Interns - Some of these scenes were funny, but I know we are all side-eyeing these new interns wondering how they are going to shake up Grey-Sloan Memorial.  Part of me doesn’t want to know.

Megan/Nathan/Meredith - I have been so impressed with how this story has been written.  I was not feeling Griggs last season, mainly because it was written so poorly.  This season has been just the opposite.  This story has been written so well that I want Nathan with both Megan and Meredith.  Not in a sister wives type way.  It’s just that they are all handling an unimaginable situation with maturity and class, and I want a happy ending for all of them.  Megan is incredibly likable.  She is understanding of Nathan moving on, she adopted an orphaned child and raised him in a war zone, and she has been through hell and back.  She deserves happiness.  Meredith has been understanding of Nathan’s history with Megan, she helped him bring Farouk to Megan, and she also has been through hell and back.  She deserves happiness.  I am genuinely interested to see how this story plays out.  I still assume Meredith will get the man in the end because she is Meredith, but if they keep writing this story this well, I will stay invested for as long as they want.  (Side note:  I like the parallel between Meredith telling Megan that she kidnapped her own daughter and then Meredith helping Nathan, in a way, kidnap Farouk.)

Catherine/Webber/Jackson/Koracick - I laughed out loud when Koracick said he wanted to make sure Jackson wasn’t his and Jackson said, “Nope,” and walked away.  I’m not entirely sure what the point of adding in the Koracick/Catherine connection was, but it was a funny little moment.

Jo/Alex - Either Jo is going to decide to put her name on the article despite her husband possibly finding her, or I think he will be at the Harper Avery awards.  He feels like a shadow closing in on Jolex.  We are all just waiting for him to step out of the darkness.  But what a refreshing switch it is to see Alex be her rock as opposed to last season when she feared Paul alone.  This is a more realistic portrayal of their relationship and who Alex is.

April/Arizona/Alex/Mer/Maggie scene - I like scenes like this.  I always have.  I think this particular scene is another way the writers are taking jabs at the terrible stories of last season.  Alex says, “I just wish I had a tumor to blame my stupid crap on,” and they proceed to yell out stories from last season that we could have done without. As if wishing all of them could be explained away by tumors.  “Deluca, I’m sorry I hit you. Tumor.” “Riggs. Tumor.” “Minnick!”  It was a subtle jab at the ridiculous writing of season 13.  Thanks Marlana.

Jackson/April/Maggie - After watching this week’s episode, I stand by what I said last week.  Jackson and April are both going to have individual journeys (for the most part) this season, but they will find their way back to each other.  I expect some of you to call me delusional or say I am wrong, but I only write what I see.  The first time we see Jackson and Maggie interact, she comments on his suit only to quickly realize he was at a funeral.  Again, I saw no flirting there.  And after she awkwardly walked away, Jackson very noticeably adjusted Alex’s collar.  I’m not sure how the writers/directors/show could send a more intentional message to the audience than that.  Jackson and Alex don’t touch.  That two second gesture was put in there in response to Maggie fixing Jackson’s collar.  Because that is what colleagues/friends do.  It doesn’t mean that Jackson wants to drag Alex to an on-call room, and it didn’t mean that for Maggie either.  Yes, they are intentionally toying with the audience by throwing stuff like that in there, but so many people are taking the bait and crazy tweeting about it, so why wouldn’t they?  That moment leads into Jackson’s talk with Meredith about the Harper Avery award, further supporting my thoughts from last week that Jackson will spend a good deal of the season figuring out what it means for him to be an Avery.  He is visibly annoyed that he cannot be considered for an award since he is a great surgeon and deserves recognition.  

It was nice to see more of Webbery’s home.  How many of us have forgiven Catherine Avery all her sins after the way she seemed annoyed at Maggie’s very presence at their dinner?  We feel that on a spiritual level, Catherine. When Jackson walked in, he said, “Oh. Hey,” the way I greet acquaintances.  Again, nothing.  He looked a little surprised to see her maybe, but that’s about it.  And the couple of times he smiled at her in the episode did not scream romantic feeling to me.  She is his step-sister and friend.  He should smile at her.  It would be weird if he didn’t.  He smiled at Meredith the exact same way before stealing her chips.  Awkward, boring scenes aside, I think the main point of these scenes was for the audience to know how much money Jackson inherited.  The discussion centered around the money and what he should do with it.  I suspect we will see something come of Jackson inheriting this money.  This was brought up for a reason.  

The scene that I think most people were so angered by was when Jackson said, “I appreciate you,” to Maggie.  Guys.  Come on.  If that was supposed to be a “moment” it would be the most lackluster romantic scene in the history of Grey’s   I appreciate you?  I appreciate the guy with one tooth who held the door open for me this morning.  I appreciate when my waitress refills my drink.  I appreciate when someone lets me merge on the interstate.  However, I have absolutely no romantic interest in any of these people.  That was not a Grey’s line that starts a romance.  Grey’s starts a romance by two people being drawn together in a bar, spending the night together, and then finding out he is her new boss.  Or two people connecting over their mutual understanding of what it means to lose the love of your life.  Or two people understanding that having demons in their past (drugs, ptsd) does mean you are unlovable.  Or two people who were beaten and broken down and told they were nothing can rise out of their circumstances.  Or best friends turning into soul mates who only need “me and you” to make it.  Epic love stories on Grey’s don’t begin with “I appreciate you.”  

Were they thinking about it?  Yes.  April planted the idea in their heads, and they had to at least consider what the other was thinking or feeling.  But, once again, the writers called them family in this episode.  Catherine called Maggie his sister.  SISTER.  Last week, Harper called April his wife.  WIFE.  The writers are feeding us crumbs, and that is damn annoying, but no matter how little we are getting, there is a big difference between being called the sister and the wife when it comes to Grey’s writing.

Seeing April in the chapel just feels right.  And I love that Marlana covered all aspects of who April is - religious, a fiercely loving mother, funny, and someone who feels things deeply.  April is such a complex, well-developed character. Hearing April pray “Please don’t make me have to unplug her,” was both funny and true to her character.  She wants Amelia to survive, but she has the strength to do what she needs to if it comes down to it.  We also saw that April is continuing to evaluate her life, what she wants, what makes her happy, and where she goes from here, just like last week.  Arizona seemed to be talking April into dating or having “new grown-up fun,” but I think most of that was just Arizona speaking for her own experience.  April may or may not date this season as part of her journey, but if she does, I don’t think it will be anytime soon.  She is focused on herself right now, as she should be.  Like she said, she doesn’t want a new normal.  Right now, she is surviving and that is the best she can do.  There was a quick line in the scene where they were all drinking coffee outside that caught my attention and may be insignificant, but I think it is another example of the introspection and reflection April is doing.  Meredith commented on how Riggs packed his bags and left to which April responds,  “Riggs panicked.  People panic.”  n that line, I heard April relating to Riggs because she packed her bags and left once, too.  That’s just one more part of her past that must be on her mind lately. And the chapel scene.  How is it that Sarah Drew can have a ten second scene where she says two words, and it is breathtaking? When April is unsure, hurting, or troubled, she turns to God.  But here, she went for a different reason.  April is thankful.  And not just that Amelia survived.  Despite all the hurt and heartache in her life, April is thankful.  And that just makes me love her even more.

I know many of you are angry and even jumping ship, but my feet are still planted firmly on the deck at this point.  Japril has a long journey, which is frustrating, but it’s only because they can have a story like this and remain one of the most popular couples on the show.  They have had two scenes together in six months, yet Grey’s posts are full of fans talking about Japril on every form of social media.  They are strong enough to get a story like this, and I hesitantly say, the writers this season are strong enough to make this into an amazing story.